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SEX & Intimacy

How to say NO

Statistics show that 1 in 5 Cambodian men have raped. Yes, this is a frightening truth that needs to

Statistics show that 1 in 5 Cambodian men have raped. Yes, this is a frightening truth that needs to change. Speaking up can make a difference. The important thing is to know how to. Here are a few ways to say no…

Practice saying No
Practice saying no in a mirror. Say no multiple times in different tones. Try to be firm and stand your ground. Say “No, I do not want to have sex right now.” You shouldn’t hesitate or let someone take advantage of your body. Speak up. Keep practicing saying “No.” until you are confident with a steady voice.

Think about why you are saying No
You need to know why you are saying no. If you don’t believe yourself, how do you expect someone else to believe you?

– Are you not ready?
– Do you want to wait till marriage?
– Are you being violated?
– Are you not sexually attracted to him?
– Are you in an unsafe environment?
– Are you doing it out of peer pressure?
– Are you too young?
– Is someone trying to control your body?

If you know why you are saying no, then it will help you in saying it out-loud.

Let them know in advance
What you want to avoid is upsetting the person to the point where you are in danger. One way to not have them surprised by your response it to let them know before you see them that you are not interested in anything sexual. Also while hanging out with them try to make sure to not be too flirty if you are not attracted to them. Keep them in the friend zone. Mention to them that you see them as a brother or family member. Let them know you’re honest opinion that you do not want to have sex, but can enjoy spending time together without it.

Your opinion is valid and your body is your own
No one on this earth should have more control over your body than yourself. You are not an object, but a beautiful human being. Speak up for your self-worth and hold yourself with dignity. If someone has taken advantage of you in the past that does not mean you aren’t tainted or deserve harm. Strength comes from within. Be confident in the fact that you deserve respect.

Worst case scenario white lie if you need to
Yes, being honest is best, but if it comes down to safety then a white lie can do way more good than bad to keep you out of harm’s way. If someone is forcing themselves on you, you could say a white lie like:

– You have a boyfriend
– You have an STD.
– You just saw the police
– Say you are on your period
– Say you have a bacterial outbreak

Couple having sex on a bed at home

Lying is not good, but if you need to for your own safety especially in the case of possible rape, then say a white lie that will make them stop.

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SEX & Intimacy

Sex In A Marriage

Have you ever wonder why some couples sizzle while others fizzle? Often pondered why no-sex marriages are on the rise;

Have you ever wonder why some couples sizzle while others fizzle? Often pondered why no-sex marriages are on the rise; what exactly could have gone wrong in a relationship that started off with so much passion? Sadly, when you look around and bother to probe, sexless marriages are pretty common these days. So how did two people who were once not having enough of each other suddenly turned to become so distant?

These days, couples fall out of their desire for each other over all sorts of reason; their ‘Love’ for each other can very quickly dwindle with some ending up going their separate ways.

More often than not, these are couples who are not truly enjoying each other; couples that are not truly committed to each other perhaps.

Unless your partner is suffering from a medical condition and not speaking up because he doesn’t wish for you to worry, there is basically no good reason why he is not having sex with you. Some nice women would give him the benefit of the doubt and believe that he is tired from work, but come on, three months, six months …. even a fortnight is a period over the hills. Sex is a natural bi-product of love or at least it should be and very much expected of in a marriage. If there is a ‘Reason’ for not having sex in a marriage, other than that caused by a medical condition, that reason could only be ‘No Love’.

Well, many are willing to accept that a sexless streak could possibly be a case of the husband being habituated to a just as tired housewife, jaded even, or stressed out by work, and quietly the woman endures but all too soon, it’s a few months passed.

Love is that emotion that combines attraction and need for someone or something, although “Love can exist without passion” according to Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., a professor of Psychological and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst in her ‘Psychology Today’ blog. It can be selfless and all consuming, gentle or intense, affectionate and sexual or platonic. You can love a romantic partner, your family, your pet, an object or an idea.

Passion on the other hand, is that emotion commonly associated with love but measured by intensity. Like love, it is also the ardent joy and desire for someone or something. “In a romantic relationship, it can ebb after a couple of years,” according to Whitbourne, but may rebound when the kids head off to school. Nonetheless, it can die if you don’t feed it by spending time together and with the passion to give your partner your best.

However, people generally assume that passion may accompany love, and love may burn passionately, but look…. unconditional love for family and close friends can exist for a lifetime without passion or desire. Intense love affairs do have passion, but sadly not all loving relationships are built upon that. Furthermore, passion alone is not sufficient. People often confuse love for passion and mistake love for sensual gratification. So much so that love is often synonymous with passion.

For a man, feeling loved and loving is very often aligned with physical intimacy so there’s no reason why your man is not making love to you. Men feel love when they are making love.

Women are a little different. Women feel loving and feel loved when they are emotionally close with their partner.

While both physical love and intimacy are important to a relationship, they are not the basis of a sustainable marriage. Over time, as observed by Psychologist Whitbourne, the passion can ebb.

Possible Causes
During the first year or so into a marriage, feelings of loving and being loved are intense because both the male and female notions of “love” are being satisfied. Being newly married and with the absence of children make it all too easy to maintain a high level of physical intimacy and closeness. But time changes matter and introduce new challenges, and very soon you’ll feel out of steam and not much passion left for anything else but a break. The thing is, the longer you are into a relationship, the more difficult it becomes to maintain that initial degree of passion. Children, careers and responsibilities make it even more difficult to stoke the passion. Soon you’ll realise that passion is not the most important ingredient, because if a relationship is based primarily on passion, and when that fades, you’ll only have dismay to carry. Physical ‘Attractiveness’ change over time as well. So, if love isn’t based exclusively on passion and intimacy, what else can sustain a relationship through the years?

A selfless love that has very little to do with sensual pleasure, is known as Commitment,. Commitment is a love so powerful that no matter what happens, there will always be dedication and loyalty. This kind of emotion is an expression of love that supersedes all passion. But does this mean that expression of passion is out of the window?? Absolutely not.

Love and the expression of passion are extremely important to a marriage. They make us feel good and bring us closer to our significant other half. If for whatsoever reason, you cannot have sexual intercourse, cuddling, a hug or a kiss can be equally fulfilling. Commitment provides us with a higher state of love and ensures that we are dedicated and loyal to our partner even when sex becomes fewer and further between. Unfortunately, many marriages are not based on a selfless love and this is why so many end in divorce.

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SEX & Intimacy

How to Have the Best Sex Ever!

We’re pretty sure that if we were to ask all of you, our readers, how many of you struggle in their sex lives, we would

We’re pretty sure that if we were to ask all of you, our readers, how many of you struggle in their sex lives, we would come up with a pretty hefty number. As it is, we don’t really have to because various dedicated scientists and experts already did that research for us.

Low sexual desire or inability to attain sexual satisfaction is more prevalent than you would have thought. According to countless scientific studies, more than 30 percent of sexually active women have trouble reaching a climax. 67 percent of North American women have reported problems related to low sexual desire and more than 80 percent of us have some sort of difficulty in reaching our end goal solely through vaginal intercourse.

Let’s take it a step further: the analysis of those countless studies concludes that approximately 5 percent of women are unable to reach an orgasm, ever.

Astonishing isn’t it? That something that makes a woman so conscious is in fact so common.

If you’re not sexually satisfied in your relationship, that is okay – as you just read, you really aren’t alone.

Low sexual desire is either caused by underlying medical conditions, or a variety of psychological problems. They are explained as follows:
Medical Causes:
•​ ​Alcoholism
•​ ​Drug addiction
•​ ​Clinical depression
•​ ​Anemia or severe iron deficiency
•​ ​Diabetes
•​ ​Post-partum loss of libido
•​ ​Hormonal imbalance or abnormalities
•​ ​Anesthetic or sedative prescription medication

Psychological Causes:
•​ ​Anxiety
•​ ​Work related stress
•​ ​PTSD from childhood experiences, or past sexual abuse
•​ ​Relationship instabilities
•​ ​Latent lesbian tendency
•​ ​Unfavorable living conditions

According to expert medical advice, it is recommended that women who experience low sexual desire or inability to attain sexual satisfaction seek professional help by visiting a General Physician.

A detailed discussion with your primary care physician will allow him to identify and correctly diagnose the root cause of your issue by looking for related signs and symptoms for other underlying conditions, reviewing your overall health, and recommending the necessary tests, examinations, or medications.

If need be, your GP will refer you to a Sexologist, or a medical doctor that specializes in sexual disorders for additional investigation. In case your condition is found to be psychological, instead of systemic, your physician will further refer you to a therapist to explore the personal, cultural, or societal factors that affect your libido.

If there is no medical or psychological ailment that plagues you, the chances of you being able to change things around to have the best sex of your life ever are actually pretty high. Continue reading to know how.

A Lifestyle Guide on How to Achieve Higher Success between the Sheets

Accept Yourself
One of the first things that women have to do in order to do better between the sheets is to accept ourselves. There’s absolutely no need to be ashamed, discouraged, or self-conscious about wanting to spice up your sex life. Because really, frequent and satisfying sex has so many health benefits you don’t even know about. Just hit Google search and we can guarantee you’ll come up with millions of hits in no time. So ladies, here’s a disclaimer for life: LEAVE BEHIND FEELING OF SEXUAL INADEQUECY.

Be kind to yourself, show some compassion. Be accepting and gentle towards yourself regardless of what you believe might be your imperfections, or failure.

Not satisfied in bed, own up to it and change it. Your partner can only do so much to ensure your sexual satisfaction. It’s your body, you have to take charge. Of course having tons of help doesn’t hurt any, but really without your input and will, nothing that’s different is going to happen. Trust us.

Create Variety
Haven’t you ladies heard that variety is the spice of life? Well, whoever said that was really very intelligent – because it couldn’t possibly be any truer. You want to achieve a better success rate between the sheets, do things differently. The element of surprise and spontaneity does wonders to a woman’s libido. Take a step out of your comfort zone and prepare to be swept off your feet (we meant it figuratively, but heck literally works perfectly well, too).

Indulge Yourself
And by indulge yourself, we really do mean indulge yourself – if you get our drift. It’s your body, get to know it better. Take the time to experiment and learn what you like and dislike on your own. If you don’t know what turns you on, how can you expect yourself to guide your partner?

Use Toys
Technically this falls under the category of trying new things, but this is so important a step we felt it deserved its own spot. See the thing is, scientific research suggests that women need more than just vaginal penetration to achieve their pinnacle of sexual satisfaction. Which basically means that there needs to be added interest in your action. Toys bring just the right amount of interest to mix things up. Incorporate toys in your private time and you’re likely to feel higher levels of arousal and desire.

Catch Up on Those Zzz’s
Another very important factor that considerably influences the outcome of your time between the sheets is the amount of sleep you get on a regular basis. If you’re perpetually tired, skipping out on actual sleep time in favor of more work, your body will essentially create a sleep back-log diminishing all your responses. This directly translates to your bedroom activities. If you’re tired, you are really unlikely to put in any sort of effort in or really show any interest either. Sleep well and you’ll actively notice a change in your libido.

Set the Mood
Ladies, it’s time to get flirty. Sext, use music, light up those candles and turn up the charm a few notches – essentially, we’re asking you to set the mood. While all the ploys of seduction are usually for your partners benefit, especially if you’re making all the effort, it’s been found that they have as much of a powerful effect on the person setting the mood as the one they’re doing it for. So go all out. Whatever gets you going, chances are you partner will only appreciate it. Not only will this effort bring you closer as a couple, it will definitely leave you satisfied, after.

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SEX & Intimacy

Can I get Pregnant?

Ways to be protected and debunking contraception myths…

Ways to be protected and debunking contraception myths

If your sexual partner does “the pull-out method” where he withdraws before ejaculation you can’t get pregnant.
This is absolutely false. You can still get pregnant with the “the pull-out method”! This is not a form of contraception and a man can release fluid even without having an orgasm, otherwise known as pre-ejaculation fluid AND IT CONTAINS SPERM.

You can’t get pregnant if you have sex while on your period.
This is false! Sperm can live in the body for up to 7 days waiting to fertilise an egg. You can get pregnant from period sex.

You can’t get pregnant if you are a virgin and are having sex for the first time.
FALSE. You can get pregnant equally as likely if it’s you first or 50th time having sex. When sperm is in contact with an egg, there is a possibility of pregnancy.

Condoms are 100 percent effective in preventing pregnancy.
A male condom is 98 percent effective at preventing pregnancy. If you double up on condoms, meaning two at once, the extra layer is not extra protection but in fact increases the risk of tearing and breaking during sexual intercourse.

You can’t get pregnant if you are breastfeeding.
Not true! Ovulation can occur even when a woman is breastfeeding. Use birth control or another contraception if you do not wish to have children only 9 months apart!

You can’t get pregnant if you shower/ bathe/ pee after sex.
False. Urinating or washing is good to do after sex, but in terms of a form of contraception it is not one. You can still get pregnant. Going to the bathroom and rinsing will not stop the sperm that has already entered the uterus through the cervix.

Birth control/the pill works immediately after going on it.
Not true. It takes your body adjusting to for the pill to work. Doctors recommend having a back up method of contraception to use as well during the first month of going on the pill.

You can’t get an STD (sexually transmitted disease) while just on birth control/the pill.
Very false! Birth control pills have many benefits, including preventing pregnancy, however the pill cannot protect you from an STD. The only way to be protected from an STD is with a barrier method, such as a condom.

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