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Going the Distance

Long distance relationships are very romantic but also

Long distance relationships are very romantic but also very hard. The struggle is real but if you can make it, you are guaranteed stronger from it. Unfortunately for some the upkeep and virtual corresponding can be the breaking point. Jake Armada is someone who has been in a long distance relationship himself and has some wise advice for what to do and what to avoid when trying to love from afar.

Here are some long distance questions to ponder:

-Realistically, can long distance relationships actually work? And if so, for how long/how far away? (e.g. is there a length of time where it would just be TOO long, and not worth it anymore? How about if it’s an extremely long distance (a different country, etc), and visiting frequently isn’t possible?

-Are the ground rules for a long distance relationship the same as a normal relationship?

-What are the best things she can do to keep the romance alive/let him know she’s still into him?

-What about keeping the lust/physical chemistry alive? Are nude pictures/phone sex/skype sex a good idea or not?

-What should be done when things go wrong? (fights, questioning commitment, infidelity, etc). How do you fix bumps in the road from far away?

-Do “open relationships” ever work in long-distance situations?

Long distance relationships are hard. the first thing you should address is how you figure out whether or not both parties are committed to keeping the flame alive at a distance- how do you have that talk? And how do you address the needs of each partner? If you are in, how do you stay connected, emotionally? And how do you deal with the lack of physical connection? Get specific here (one of my friends used a three camera skype sex set up… that sort of thing). What are the hardest hurdles a couple might encounter? And how do you recommend dealing with them.

I’m about to be in a long distance relationship. What do I do?

To have a successful long distance relationship you are going to have to do something people of our generation don’t do. You are going to have to wait. We use the internet everyday. An entire species worth of knowledge and experience is at our very will. We can have anything and we can have it now. Accept each other. If the person you’re with is about to relocate, you will wait. Be comfortable with that and the rest will take care of its self.

Go Analogue

The real loss here is intimacy in so many forms. But that doesn’t mean you can’t give your person your time. Do the obvious and write them a letter. Write it all week. Get one of the trendy little banded notbooks and put down a sentence each time you think of them through the day. Not every time you’ll see weird but you know what I mean. Keep track of where you were and what you were doing when you thought of them. By the end of the week you’ll have a great letter.

Man and woman lying back to back on large heart, both looking at laptop computers

Don’t over do it

Staying glued to FaceTime will teach you hate each other.

Have a conversation about your relationship prior to the absence.

Opportunity is in distance. Take advantage. Talk about the things that are worth the wait.

Write two letters
One to read on their arrival. One to read together when they get home.

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